Skazz's Ice Cream Stand
Skazz's Ice Cream Stand is not actually a single location or structure; rather it is the collective name for a series of ill-fated stands run by Skazz Coldsploogie. Based on a few simple observations of migratory populations and the distance between sources of refreshment, Skazz had the brilliant idea to set up an ice cream stand in the northern Barrens, midway between the Mosh'arn rampart and the Crossroads. His premise was that adventurers running between the two locations - a rather substantial target demographic - would want to stop somewhere and get a nice cool treat in the middle of the Barrens heat. The frequent Alliance raids on the Crossroads only served to underscore this point, indicating the potential for large-scale orders. Skazz invested his gold in a top-of-the-line ice cream machine and refrigerators, making sure that his stand would not only have the widest range of stock available, but would also have a constant supply for the expected hordes of customers. By his calculations, he would be able to cater for a full forty-man raid and maintain satisfactory stock levels afterwards. To further his plans, he set up advertising boards all across the barrens, pointing out where the stand was and the wonderful services it offered. As an afterthought, he hired a pair of minimum-wage slackers from non-aligned races to help shovel ice cream. Unfortunately, mere days after he opened for business, the Alliance and Horde each set up flight masters in Ratchet, thus drastically reducing the amount of traffic across the barrens. As a result, his expected massive client base shrunk to practically nothing, leaving him with a massive back stock of unsold and unsellable stock. The only clients he attracted were passing Centaur Raiders, who would run off with his stock without paying for anything. Undeterred, he decided to set up at a new location,. this time being the entrance to Un'Goro Crater. Billed as "The last ice cream stand before the end of Civilization", he expected that there would be a regular supply of explorers venturing into the crater and back out again. Unfortunately, it turned out that a semi-regular griffon service had started into and out of the crater, thus again eliminating his customer base. (Similar events in Felwood and western Ashenvale lead him to believe that there was a deliberate conspiracy of Griffon masters aiming to put him out of business) Seeing the coming Silithid war, Skazz had planned to set up a stand in Silithius near the Scarab Wall. However, due to a bizarre series of accidents, the stand, and all its equipment, ended up scattered across the Stonetalon Mountains in places that suggested that they had been dropped from a great height. Based on some "insider information", he set up a new stand in the northern part of the Eastern Plagelands near Adon's log pile. While the area got little traffic, he was assured that things would change and soon. Unfortunately for him, before he could implement this new plan, the Scourge attacked his stand, taking it off for use as raw materials for their Siege Engines. Rumor had it that Adon chuckled when it happened. Finally, one that he set up in Ashzara simply disappeared, never to be spoken of again. Following the opening of the Dark Portal, he watched as the majority of Azeroth's adventures travelled to Outland. Realizing that his client base had deserted him, he followed, setting up shop in Hellfire Peninsula. His business acumen told him that it was the place to be, as not only did it have swarms of adventurers from Azeroth, but it also had Honour Hold, who's men hadn't seen an ice cream in two decades. Determined to make up for his past failures, Skazz went all-out, setting up the biggest and greatest ice cream stand that he had ever created. Equipped with the newest ion freezers and processors, it boasted a wider range of flavors, cones and toppings then was previously possible. The stand itself was a thing of beauty, a miracle of Goblin science and the advancement of ice cream technology. Unfortunately, it was stepped on by a passing Fel Reaver. Not to let his failure get ahead of him, Skazz simply picked up the pieces, vowing to rebuild and set up the greatest Ice Cream Stand ever seen. Behind the Scenes *Skazz's ice cream stand can be found in-game; the stand is in the Ruined Reaches in Azshara, however there are no mobs or NPCs attached to it, as well as no quests. It is possible that it is related to the incomplete Horizon Scout quest chain. Category:Stores Category:Articles by Darthfish